Now I can describe it as dread – the ever-present feeling overshadowing everything in my life since the bad PSA result arrived in November. The results of Husband’s biopsy were negative on all counts and since he received that wonderful news on Thursday morning, I’ve been decompressing. It’s been a physical sensation as well as a spiritual one – the lifting. It was a mental gulp of oxygen from holding back on plans not knowing if things were going to change – or how. An obligation I took on earlier was beginning to chafe as it grew nearer, but now I look forward to doing it. Hosting a writing club in a library is a lot easier to deal with than ordering stairlifts.
Yes, back to that. Assembling with other writers begins Tuesday February 4.th If you’re interested, send me an email because I can’t get the PDF to insert. I’ll bring cookies. Kidding. Well, maybe. I’m nervous about being in charge, but if it brings someone out who’s better suited to lead, I’ll feel good about getting something going in that direction.
And timing! I’d no sooner gotten PDF’s back from the librarian at one library, when the West Falls-Colden Library’s librarian called about a different writer’s group new meeting times – as if I wasn’t confused enough!
That group led by Joe Marren met again this morning. I entered the building and the new volunteer coordinator stood by the desk, hampering the swift dash downstairs I’d planned to make before the meeting’s start to check out the used books. She wanted to know if I’d come back and cover the Saturday shift again. There was more talk – and I left it up in the air – but I might. I mean, one of the first things I did after texting the good news to immediate family was look up the conference I went to last year. I haven’t been thinking in terms of “my” next move for a long time, so I want to explore before I commit.
I’ve had limited time with my writing and it’s been primarily used to work micros to death. The one I read at group today was met with silence, which is nerve-wracking, but also a sign that it packed a punch – and for a drabble, I think that’s impressive. Now to submit it. Aye, there’s the rub – putting my work out where it could face rejection. Or acceptance.
Maybe I’m not ready for either quite yet, but I am close. And close is far as I plan to get tonight while another early morning looms.
Thank you so much for stopping by and for the read!
Greetings from this side of 2024 where blanked on writing a blog post until after 7:30pm. I hope you are well where you are – and washing your hands with soap to prevent spreading infections. (If only PAs in Roswell’s Urology Department would do the same – and mask ffs. Yes Irene, I’m looking at you) The bird flu has me worried as the Norovirus runs through western New York with no end in sight. Good times!
The past month was spent doing the holiday cookie joy and I rolled and dipped enough balls to remember how much I must care for people – at least the people who had cookies sent or delivered to them. Besides the few days between Thanksgiving and Christmas this year, there were multiple doctor and dentists visits and even a writing session with Kathy Fish. I also had to shovel multiple times because this of all years needed provide prime lake effect conditions – with even more in the forecast.
Husband has made more progress on the ceiling and the once red table and leaves are done – covered now with a marble design.
So are the chairs.
The Holiday cards and letter went out and we had a visit from Texans this weekend which was the “last thing” before I could relax, and today, I did…which may be why I forgot to write this until now.
This year resulted in 135 submissions – not as many as I’d hoped, but enough.
Thank you:
Jeff Harvey for accepting “Hearts Compounded” for Gooseberry Pie Issue 12.
Geoffrey Miller at NUNUM for accepting “Spiders Everywhere” and nominating it for Best Microfiction.
Hema Nataraju , Lakshmi Iyer, Melissa Llanes Brownlee at Literary Namjooning for loving “How It’s Done” and presenting it so beautifully.
Ben The Drevlow at BULL whose edits for “Not Everyone Dreams of La La Land” made it shine for the print issue.
Tabi at Litmora for taking “Blooming” and inviting me to Fredonia’s Literary Festival
And Kim Chinquee. Wow. Thank you for accepting “Brilliance” “No Object” and “Shoo Bird” for the gorgeous Eclipse Issue of Elm Leaves Journal – and for the Pushcart nomination.
What a year in publishing- as I determine it from 11/30/2023 to 11/30/2024! Now on to the next – and soon!
Thank you for stopping by and for the read. Cheers!
It’s all ups and downs, isn’t it? I live in a bubble of beauty and cannot believe it expanded like this. I had seen Julie Tuttle’s painting at the Colden Arts Festival and loved it. I told her the optimal dimensions I wanted the print to be, but it wouldn’t work so instead of a print, I now have an original painting, and it makes me so happy to walk into the office and see this. Thank you, Julie!
I voted early and on the morning of November 5th, I saw the most unusual rainbow in the sky over my home. Boy, did I misunderstand that sign. Luckily, there is free will, a list of goals, and block buttons on social media, so I’ve been busy.
The Halloween decorations were put away and the Christmas boxes came down. Thanksgiving came late and is over but for the soup and last piece of pecan pie. The first batch of fudge is made and soon to be cut. I was supposed to have the holiday letter written by now, but there was a whole night lost until the Hazmat unit arrived then left the house. During all of this, I’ve been worried about Husband and the tests he has coming up. He’s helping me ignore the things I cannot change by beginning the long-delayed ceiling repair, so the goals I set have to navigate an obstacle course along with me and the never tired-out dog. It’s fun!
I mean, making art is hard enough – especially when you’re in the minutia – trading one word for another, considering a comma here or there or none, paragraph place switching. It’s too easy to pull out just enough to see your own insecurity, not the progress in the prose. From there, all it takes is seeing a “there” for “their” and I am disparaging my entire writing career and for having ever learned English.
From that whiny position last week, I began receiving remarkable news.
First, many thanks to Yung Painkiller, the photographer who captured the pre-election happiness and peace in a picture of me and Kim Chinquee. In September, I attended An Evening with Percival Everett, part of the Buffalo Humanities Festival. He read from his novel, “James.” Congratulations to Mr. Everett for winning the National Book Award. Thank you, Kim, for inviting me and sending along the picture which is part of the event album!
Another huge thank you to Kim Chinquee for nominating me for the Pushcart Prize. That email arrived on a dark night when I was rethinking all my writing. I’d written to a friend about it and after fetching an envelope, I received that incredible nomination that was so kind and lovely, I cried.
But wait, there’s more. Barely had I received that honor, when another one arrived. Geoffrey at NUNUM has nominated “Spiders Everywhere” for Best Microfiction. (Here is a link to the interview which also went up this month.) Thank you, Geoffrey Miller! And thank you for stopping by and for the read. I know it can be a rough time of the year, so know I’m in your corner and I’m whispering, “Take care of you.” I hope you hear it.
The Halloween decoration box came down from the closet after our company left and for the first time since Covid, I decorated with glee. I even picked up new light strands that were discounted at Lowe’s. They are fairy lights, so I’ll reuse them. The strand I already set up in the office ran through its set of patterns and when it reached the flashy bit, I used that as a prompt to pull my eyes away from the screen, so they are beneficial, too.
Speaking of prompts, today I was the Prompt Witch at Buffalo State for my co-appearance with the poet Karen J. Weyant for the Drop Hammer Series. I bought her book, “Avoiding the Rapture,” and so should you. Great turn out and fantastic questions! Thank you Kim Chinquee for the invitation – and an acceptance for the Endurance Issue of Elm Leaves Journal– and congratulations on your soon to be new releases!
The days have been uncharacteristically pleasant, so I’ve been trying to soak in the beauty while taking care of outside tasks that don’t need to be done, but being inside in such nice weather feels like a crime. I resented being sent outside as a child since I had books and comfortable places to sit inside, now I’m compelled.
The writing continues though the pace is uneven. I’ve restarted keeping a small book to tally my accomplishments each week. There used to be a lively board on Zoetrope called Friday Fess-Up where people would list their S,R, and A’s (submissions, rejections, and acceptances.) I’ve got three S’s, an R, and an A so far, which isn’t too shabby, but I can do better, so off I go to do that…or take a nap.
Spreading the magic of story is tiring work. I loved doing it today, and if you were there, thank you!
This month has been packed with lit goodness. The incredible inaugural issue of Literary Namjooning dropped and it’s more beautiful than I imagined. Thank you, Hema, Lakshmi, and Melissa! What you have created is a loving tribute and besides all the great pieces – including mine – paired with the artwork, the contributor notes are both interesting and helpful. I’m sad for the reason this zine came into existence, but lightened that such pain transformed into great beauty.
NUNUM, a paying market, accepted “Spiders Everywhere.” It’s live and I’m paid, so awesome enough for the month, right? But there’s more.
Let’s talk workshops. My piece in Literary Namjooning was written in a Kathy Fish Fast Flash Reunion. NUNUM accepted one of three I wrote in the Cheryl Pappas workshop in January. I took a class with Amber Sparks this month and another Kathy Fish workshop this past Saturday. If past performance is any indicator, I may have more acceptances soon. Hahaha. All I can do is hope, and hone, and prepare for a presentation. Yes, that’s right. I will be reading at Drop Hammer on Halloween with Karen Wyent, a poet I met at the WCoNA conference in March.
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At the Colden Arts Festival, we bought some Christmas presents and we have new art. Thank you Julie Tuttle for painting & framing the picture in the middle that works perfectly in this corner!
Working toward winter, coupled with having company come spend the night, has left the house in an acceptable level of nonclutter, plus it’s still sort of clean, so knock on wood, I can get back to the novel rewrite now. If the animals allow it, but I turn around and find the cat is trying to send the dog back to where we got her and I have to figure out where the cat even got a box – let alone one of that size…
So, all of this, plus birthdays of some of my favorite people happened, as well as a canine sad so long and a nearly human one close to my sister, plus a ton of other stuff, but I put this off until the last minute and need to wrap it up here.
Thank you SO much for stopping by and for the read! Be good to you in October!
Hello and thank you so much for meeting me here in this humid heat. What a joy it has been to work outside in the mornings before it became too hot to move. I just love the dawn, Canadian fire-tinged air, and my own sarcasm. How have you been? Are your days melting together, too?
The novel editing has turned into a pre-surgery evaluation. I’ve broken the middle into a list of occurrences, discussions, and information reveal. Once that is done – and I am close – I can begin the cut and paste. I hope to use this table (and the leaves) for this, but it might be enduring a rejuvenation soon. I’m excited about the changes to start but procuring the proper material has been challenging – well, a lot harder to find than I anticipated.
Someone around here – NOT me – had another birthday, so we celebrated properly with an ice-cream cake with shiny unicorn candles. Someone hid the Barbie ones, but I won’t speculate about who might be the culprit. I mean – it’s tough to figure out mysteries like this. Two people in one house, and if you didn’t move the thing on the shelf the cats and the dog cannot reach, it must have been a time-travelling pirate who broke into the house take that one thing, right? Damn pirates…
Otherwise, the tree outside the bathroom came down before it had a chance to fall in a direction we didn’t want it to fall, i.e. the roof.
And, before you go, I want to tell you one thing more – I am incredibly happy and dare I say proud? to be included in the inaugural issue of Literary Namjooning, which will drop soon. I don’t care if you read my story, per se, I mean, I do, but please check this publication out if you are a reader or a writer. The story of its origin is beautiful and Melissa, Hema, and Lakshmi are among the best people to interact with on-line. Thank you to them for including my piece, “How It Is Done,” which was written during a Kathy Fish Fast Flash Reunion – I think the last one held in a Zoetrope office. Thank you, Kathy! Thank you, Rina Fosati, for your sharp eye in the editing. Just a huge thank you to you, too, for stopping by and for the read! I appreciate it. I appreciate you. May cool happiness come your way!
Hello. Hi. Nice to see you again – and if this is your first visit, welcome. There’s a contact page link around here somewhere if you need it, though I get most of my messages the old-fashioned way: through the crows.
I’m here, strapped to a gyro, trying to balance all of the things – as well as work on the revision of my novel, Foam. I am…happier with it, but not necessarily with myself. I am going so slow. Ten pages ahead, go back thirty and reweave a plot point, start again. And again. It is a rewrite. I am going deeper into ideas and values held and taught to girls – and by deeper, I mean subtly pointing it out in prose. (Why yes, I do grow lofty about my own work – especially typing at a standing desk. I don’t know why. This is why I don’t think I would be a good teacher. I fear I’d be tyrannical in a classroom. “You will kill that darling, do you hear me? Is that an adverb I see? 57 pull ups and you can watch me weep as you do them because you ermine-eyed scribbling child, you used a cliché later on in the same paragraph.”)
Congrats Damien !
(I have no pictures to prove it, I did wear a bathing suit while attending this graduation party on Lime Lake. Being comfortable enough with my own body to get so close to naked in front of friends and acquaintances was a nice side benefit to my true intention – which is to keep my body in shape to avoid surgery and/or replacement parts for as long as possible. I really don’t care for doctors. The morning Pilates/weight training/cardio routines are nothing but torture, but so is the idea of being cut into with a scalpel by a hungover surgeon, thus, I do A LOT of mat work.)
Speaking – sort of – about that, many thanks to Tamara Grisanti and the editors and staff at Coffin Bell. It’s my second appearance there. I finished reading a previous issue in 2018, came up with the idea for this, wrote There’s No Such Thing as a Free Lunch , and then it sat there on the computer until sending it out to the only place I could see as it’s home. So, see? Sometimes, writerly things do work out.
The path to the labyrinth and the ones to the creek were finally mown, but the weedeater remains broken. Seven rows of wood have been put up and once the mornings return to being pleasant enough to work outside for more than two minutes before my eyelids sweat, I will. The electric fence for the puppy is operational, and the training has begun. We’ve eaten green beans, peas, and tomatoes freshly picked from the garden. At night in the newly rewoven lounge chair, I’ve watched bats dance across the full moon.
And, as is often the case, the smoothly working outside masks inner turmoil. Dear lord and heaven, marriage is hard, even when we’re agreeing. Strapping myself to a chair to write & rewrite the same set of words is hard, too. The latest entry to the page of quotes reads, “People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.”
So, I step away from the mental spin cycle, open the goal book I started in January, re-read the quarterly breakdowns, find the to-do book, list 4 tasks to work on when I need to do something other than writing, but mostly this month, all I have been doing is writing, with seemingly little to show for the effort, but the habit. Oh, also stressing. Lots of that this month.
This is one of the two places I’m privileged to practice my writing habits. The other is basically the bleak hidden corner described in Orwell’s 1984, but with better light.
I hope your July was mighty fine. Thanks for stopping by and for the read!
At the beginning of the year in a Nancy Stohlman class, I dreamed a few dreams and wrote them out as 10-year goals. Those were divided into smaller ones, which were divvied up further so I now have a printed out list of what needs to be done by quarter, with a monthly checklist of things to do in each. I’m happy to report it is going well despite my occasional forays into freak-outs when there are any curve balls thrown my way. For whatever reason, I respond well to lists. This new structure has also freed me of some of my worry, but not my anxiety. To ease that between acupuncture appointments, I’ve made the upper greenhouse whiter with paint and returned a few of the plants early from their usual summer hang out on the patio. Opening any window lets in the babble of the creek. Sometimes there’s a breeze. In the morning, the light is even more dazzling than this.
As with the past few summers, getting back to the labyrinth hasn’t happened as often as I would have preferred, so this space serves as a calming spot where I drink tea, eat apples, and lately, edit. I didn’t think this was where I’d be, but I embrace it. Having the year-end accomplishment list I made was a heavy lift because I aimed for acceptances with print. As of now, I have had work appear in two that I can already hold in my hand in June. Trust me, it’s extra thrilling because both include work from fellow writers I love and respect. Again and again and again, thank you Kim Chinquee for inclusion in Elm Leaves Journal’s Eclipse Issue and thank you to The Drevlow for accepting my piece for Issue 11 of Bull. (Look at those covers. I’d buy them even if I weren’t in them.) The year isn’t over, but with that spectacular success crossed off, I’m on to the next ones.
The book edit I did earlier this spring sat for weeks. I returned and have been correcting it at a line edit/add a red herring here/downplay this, but mention it hard enough to be memorable stage of editing. (And by the way, may I offer apologies to all my poor beta readers who read even part of this mess. Especially Chel! I am so sorry I didn’t know how to make it better in an earlier draft!) I did think this read through would have me patting myself on the back for the clever bits, and there were a few, but in this draft, it’s apparent it needs more fine-tuning and craft. (I read, learn more, and then take scissor blades to phrases I’ve refused to cut in previous drafts. Killing your darlings can be gruesome and brutal – especially when you set the cuttings on fire to warm your soul with their flame…but maybe that’s just me and my editing style.)
Anyway, the problem is that I have perfectionist tendencies and could spend the next thirty years on two sentences if I wanted to, but if I want to reach the goals on my list, I can’t. So while I’m not going fast, I’m striving for this version to be the good enough draft which will aid me in the next step, but I also want it to be over already. Last night I ran into another area I wanted to cut and paste into a better flow, but allowed myself to rest instead of delving into that messy spot when it was nearly midnight. Today, refreshed, I’m going to tackle other things. The weather of western New York decides the flow of which work is tackled and when. Besides writing, there is wood. I’ve been putting up what I split and stacked last year. As another row in the shed gets filled, I am happily in awe. All the time spent last year working on splitting is paying off and for that, I’m grateful. Though I itch to finish the book, I visit the white room and calmly remind myself there will be other days where I’ll want to stay in from the heat or days when it’s too rainy, and move on to the next task with less worry. A change in perspective helps, and sometimes you see chipmunks hanging upside down, too.
Besides the enormous help I feel I received from Nancy’s course, goals aren’t met without hard choices being made. There’s a meme without attribution I saw somewhere and I liked it so much I wrote it down to remind myself of its truth: Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard. Obesity is hard. Being fit is hard. Choose your hard. Being in debt is hard. Being financially disciplined is hard. Choose your hard. Communicating is hard. Not communicating is hard. Choose your hard. Life will never be easy. It will be always be hard, but we can choose our hard. Pick wisely. ~Proper accreditation to be placed here if I ever find it.
Early on in our relationship, Husband and I decided to follow the cliché of saving for a rainy day which helped when the roof was damaged, and now, for this.
Of course the calculated time saved on working on the broken tractor has been transferred to wagon problems, but I’m focusing on the good parts, here. He can now mow the lawn and leave me out of that chore altogether so I have more time to edit and notice the beautiful surprises like a mountain laurel in bloom. I didn’t plant it, but I happily share this unexpected delight from Mother Nature. Isn’t it pretty?
I’m also happy to report Bertie graduated her first round of obedience course. Here’s our happy grad, just before eating her mortise board.
So yes, there is slow, steady, sloggy progress going on here. We’re making choices and enjoying the side benefits. After I post this, I’m going to pick fresh, ripe and sun warmed blackberries from bushes I transplanted last year to a more convenient spot, where happily, they took.
May all your goals be possible to reach and all your roots grow deep. Thank you for stopping by and for the read!
Ah, novel rewriting, what a treat. If you’ve not enjoyed the process, may I suggest not having most of the action in your book take place in an attic? As I sat in the corner of the library, typing, fixing, adding, and cutting to get this novel even better than it was, I swear I developed claustrophobia.
I’m tearing myself out of that mindset by digging dirt. The first spring after started the no till garden idea? Clear delineation of where I was able to use the garden weasel to rid the area of dandelions by the root vs. where the cages were and I could not weed. Seeing that I didn’t have as much work as I thought I’d have, I went to a nursery to buy plants and zap – randomly ran into fellow WNY writer, Christina Abt.
Zucchini, yellow squash, cucumbers, bush beans, peas, jalapeno, and green pepper plants are in the ground and -knock on wood- semi-slug protected by copper. The twelve holes for the Roma and Heinz tomato plants are dug and after dinner tonight, I could be done with the planting. Yesterday, I made thirty-two thin pancakes for the enchiladas. I made a big tin of fudge nut bars that need to be cut. With proper portioning and freezing, this is how I am buying future time.
Time runs faster once June hits. I might be camping in the Alleghenies with Kim Chinquee and Nancy McCabe in a few weeks. I might be weeding. I look forward to popping in to spend time with Rina Fosati again soon. If Husband and I make it to 7pm, we’ll have been married 24 years today. A new riding lawnmower may be our mutual anniversary gift, which you must admit beats the hell out of the sump pump we went and bought on my birthday a few years back. I’ve had some nice rejections, does this precede acceptances in the coming days? Only the flowers know.
Speaking of flowers, did I mention “Blooming” made it into Litmora’s third issue? This flash is how “Near Eden, New York,” a previous novel I wrote, begins. Gooseberry Pie did me a solid by including “Hearts Compounded” in its 12th issue. Do check out other pieces from the one – or a previous issue. Six sentences? Come on, you have time to read one or two, don’t you?
Reading is an exercise I’ve been doing less than Pilates these days. Sometimes a break from words is needed, so I’m taking a short one to enjoy my day.
Please enjoy the day you’re having. Thank you so much for stopping by and for the read!
I thought March was spectacular and then April came around. Sure, I had another birthday, which is fine, I guess, but eh the “aging” bit could go. I did receive amazing gifts of love through words, deeds, FB posts, flowers, and even presents. Thank you all and here is the picture of the cake I honestly would have shared with you had you dropped in at the time:
The 5th had me in Buffalo for a workshop where I had the opportunity to reconnect with members of my old writing group that met in Hamburg at the Comfort Zone and pitched the novel I’m rewriting to an agent. She gave me her card and told me to query her when it was done, so in the parlance of that structure, it was a victory. I’d no more than spun around and it was time for the solar eclipse. We did it up in style.
Friends from Chicago arrived and we had dinner with them and the amazing Tuttle clan. Friday, the 12th, thankyouthankyou Kim Chinquee hosted the Elm Leaves Eclipse Launch where not only was I listed as special guest and ELJ Contributor on the posters, I read with her talented students, but also with Rachel L. Johnson and Justin Karcher. Seriously, if you know anything about the Buffalo Lit scene, you know reading with Justin is a Buffalo bucket list must do and I did it. Thank you to everyone who was a part of the launch! AND my niece Ashley showed up – as well as the couple from Chicago as a surprise, which it truly was, Thank you Robert and Theresa. Because of Kim, there are pictures of this incredible event. Thank you!
Thank you Kim also for another wondrous Drop Hammer. This month, it was Nancy McCabe. I’ve got her, “Can This Marriage Be Saved?” on my to be read pile. After she read from new work, there was discussion and food. Carol – and I’m sorry I don’t recall her last name – led us to a gallery in the AKG open to the public. Before and After Again, the current exhibit of artwork, prose, and poetry by the Buffalo-based Julia Bottoms, Tiffany Gaines, and Jillian Hanesworth is incredible. The depth of the portraits and the food images, as well as the prose and hope in the seeds – a truly moving tribute to those lost, but also to those who still live in the area of the Tops shooting and the tentacles of how food deserts compound misery.
I don’t know if any of that is right, art is subjective after all, and I really liked this lamp made by Henry.
That was another experience I was graced to experience. I’d gotten an acceptance at Litmora, which led to my trying to work that in at the launch, and there was an invitation by the editor to attend the Fredonia Literary Festival, and so I did. Completely interesting and fun, plus it turned out that both Henry and Tabi are from Springville. How cool is that? It’s even cooler because Tabi (moderator in the first pic) also has ties to the town where my grandmother lived.
I’m grateful to be here. Western NY is such a lovely spot filled with great souls and flash writers like Rina Fosati. When I went to visit her, I came across a free lawnmower that Husband is falling in love with more with each pull of the cord. I am blessed beyond measure and if you’re reading this, you are the part of the wonder in this universe. Thank you for being that.
Thank you for stopping by and for the read ❤ Enjoy your May!
T. L. Sherwood 
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