goals

January’s Out the Window

Proper preparation prevents poor performance. Those are the 5 P’s I remember from Due South. What I can’t seem to get through my head is that just because I can wait until the last minute to edit a story for a contest (which turned into a nearly complete rewrite) and scribble a blog, it’s better to leave myself some time in case things come up – and boy do they ever. My spirits and/or feelings are as high up as I can recall my January well-being ever being – including when I was a kid.

Part of it stems from a workshop I took recently. After attempting – yet failing— Nancy Stohlman’s Flash-A-Day challenge in November, she still graciously offered a discount on her class. I signed up for it and while some of the things I heard before, this time they clicked, and the one thing social media has taught us, clicks are good.

One major change is the quarters. I never thought to waver from the standard Jan-March, April-June, etc. separations but once I heard I could start in February – a whole lot made sense. I now have a notebook divided by goals by those quarters, by five years, by ten. It’s strange to thing how it has effected me – I feel alive.

Maybe it’s all about the control I feel in seeing where and when my time and energy gets divided. I’m currently setting up all the vet and doctor appointments so they are part of the plan. I’ve signed up for a conference and a seminar. Tomorrow begins the real test, but I feel both prepared and inspired.

Writing is a lot of work with no guarantee of a spit’s worth of minor acclaim or appreciation. Politics, baking, there are no sure bets on anything, but I now have a plan – and potential alternatives, and possibilities to pursue if those don’t pan out either.

I know – that’s a lot of optimism showing. Sorry. I can’t help it. I’ve gotten a lot of work done lately and it’s exciting. It probably sounds silly, but adding color has been extremely helpful; I am incentivized by pretty things and ease. Look at my new board. I’ll be pinning reminders for magazine openings to their proper months as reminders instead of using a desk calendar, you see.

Aren’t the lined up folders exciting? I’m telling you I know it might not last – but that’s the beauty of the new approach – every three months I’ll be checking in with the goals and adjusting as needed. Already it’s easing my stress. I wanted to finish the movie list. I knew it wouldn’t be finished by the end of this quarter, so I not only moved it, I gave myself 6 months to finish it because while I want it done, I also have other goals that matter more.

Like you. You matter more than a list.

In the flurry of all this rush to complete a bunch of tasks, I also took a class with Cheryl Pappas. Oh, it was good. Intense. I have three new ugly babies now. I’ll see them in a week. See that’s another goal I’m working on – patience. I don’t have a lot of hope for achieving that one, but it’s on the list, so I’ll give it a go.

Husband designed a better version of my favorite cutting board. Isn’t the new one pretty?

Well, I thank you for stopping by and for the read. I hope your January was at least half as good as mine if not three times better. Until next time, cheers!

Clashing Goals after Making Bellows

What do you do when your goals conflict? You’ve asked yourself that before, haven’t you? As an activist, artist, acrobat, airplane designer, or by whatever term you use to describe yourself. (Human being the all-encompassing reality, but a) how generic and b) I shan’t digress…)

My 1st world, white woman problem is that I told myself and others that my goal this year was to have 25 submissions out at all times. As of the most recent, gorgeous, informative Sunday morning, I was down to seventeen. Twenty if I count the In-Progress or Received entries on Submittable, one of which will soon turn 7 years old. It’s getting a cake this year. I’ve already brought unicorn ear and horn birthday candles and a tub of chocolate frosting for the big day.

So, I have failed with that goal before the month is out. Part of me knows I can get right on that; sending out roughly ten submissions is not exactly easy, but it is doable. I scratch my ear and reason that if I averaged submissions like banks averaged daily balances, I’m probably still at 25 a day, but my calculator doesn’t know how to do that kind of math.

Inspired by Rory of Gilmore Girls which I’m binge watching again, I made a list. A mental one. (I wanted to go with “I went mental …on a list” but it isn’t that funny, I mean, it’s so unfunny, I’m explaining the idea of the unfunny joke I didn’t even tell – it’s that bad. It reminds me of the little skit Paris Geller the guy she ended up marrying did when they switched editorships.) (I’m not that far in the series yet, but it’s close.)

It wasn’t a list either, more an assessment of desires and priorities. Thoughtful reflection, long walks in the woods, meaningful deliberation. Psyche! I watched some TV and realized it didn’t matter if I did or did not have (or keep) 25 things out. If all my ready pieces were accepted at once then I’d be in a pickle, wouldn’t I? Yes, I do know that is called rationalization and I mixed it with a little wishful thinking, but you know what? I have had two acceptances this year already and I hope you’re half as excited as I am!

The wonderful, gracious, amazing Laura Black accepted one of my pieces for Fictive Dream’s Flash Fiction February! It will go live on Saturday 4 February 2023 so check it out – as well as the rest of the month’s posts – some of the most interesting things I read all year are in this series. Be sure to especially check out Nina Fosati’s piece which comes out on the 24th!

On top of that, the amazing, gracious, wonderful Tara Campbell and Michael B. Tager of Mason Jar Press have also accepted a piece of mine. The original story was written back in ancient times and was titled “Two Wrens for a Farthing,” then “What Isn’t Silk” – which I kept when I sent it out recently. I reworked that thing laboriously, had the fantastic Nina Fosati look it over for nits, retitled it and sent it the first day of the submission window for The Jarnal. I am seriously thrilled it was accepted – and the suggested edits were minimal. (Such relief and happiness!) Now, secretly, I jump up and down every so often when I remember I’m going to be in this print anthology! I still can’t believe it. Occasionally, I squeal. It scares one cat, concerns the other. The Jarnal III : Transitions, edited by Tara Campbell with managing editor Michael B. Tager will be out in May.

So, I’ve got that going for me, holding up that rationalization, which led to another where I downgraded the goal into an aspiration; I do want to get back to it, and will, but right now, well… I’m working on a novel.

Do you know how loathe I am to speak such a thing – even if it’s only in my head, or now, on a screen? Lucy. Charlie Brown. Football. Here I go again, and I’m not sure I want to, but – knock on wood – so far it seems okay and therefore I’m full of doubt. What ifs cling to every dust mote in my undusted house. Breakfast dishes leer. If I clean the house my anxiety will go away, but perhaps that’s where a lot of stories go, dumped out in mop water, flushed down a tidy bowl.

In 22 days, I’ve written 26,000 words. Three betas test drove the first 20 pages and said, “Keep going.” (I went to that file to count days and it took all my strength to not to open it anew.) So, like Rory to Yale, I’m going somewhere I was not headed, though I was headed there all along.

Cheers and thanks for stopping by for the read.

Still around…

I am thrilled and honored that Barren Magazine has published “The Shots Fired, The Shots Called” in their gorgeous 5^th issue and OMG! Cathy Ulrich tweeted about it while I was off-line in my funk. Remington Review published “Anniversary Plans” on page 5 and I’m thrilled with the outcome. I’ve liked that story a long time and it found the best home. Thank you to everyone at Barren Magazine and Remington Review for believing in my pieces and publishing them.

Yesterday, I had a lovely chat with Nina Fosati about stamina, direction, and purpose in regards to writing. I told her it’s the first time since I don’t remember when “a book” or a “goal” wasn’t foremost on my mind and how this made me feel…adrift.

Personally, I find it to be a sucky feeling and hope it turns into something freeing or worthwhile. Maybe it’s the weather. Or the anniversary of my mother’s death. Or some other “thing” causing this ennui, but I hope it resolves soon. In the meantime, I’m reading, tidying, cleaning, and trying to figure out the next step.

Regardless, I am grateful you stopped by for a bit. Thank you for the read and may your day be stunning!

Cheers!

There’s a cardinal banging on my window so it must be spring.

I don’t know why, but this year’s bird of mayhem is a cardinal and instead of just attacking the hallway windows upstairs, it’s decided my library windows are also things to batter. It makes waking up and traipsing off to do Pilates a bit disruptive. When the leaves come out, they generally lose interest in the perceived identical twin enemy, but until then, I have a “natural” early morning alarm clock that does not come with a snooze button. Joy, joy…

Another interview came out HERE. I saw the promo line and it was so appropriate – I’d forgotten I’d said it. Many, many thanks to the great, talented, and generous Tamara Grisanti and everyone at Coffin Bell.

The mad snowstorm I mentioned last time resulted in a lot of trees being damaged. Here are a few shots:

It’s hard to show the extent of devastation to them, or my heart. I know, it sounds strange, but since I spend so much time here, trees do become like friends and any friend in pain hurts me…

Right, so, I rewrote my synopsis, reworked my query letter and sent it off to four more agents this week. I started my shifts at the Bertrand Chaffee Hospital’s Gift Shop. Behind in my submission goal, I’m off to bring those numbers up and try to end this excessive desire to clean and organize everything. My shoes have never been so orderly and that scares me a bit. My office looks like an efficient person works there. I joked with Nina Fosati at lunch on Monday that maybe I’m doing the opposite of “nesting” in preparation for New Book. I suppose anything is possible…

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Happy Easter, and don’t get fooled on the first of April. I’ll be older the next time I post, so birthday wishes will be happily accepted should you want to make this “milestone” truly great. Or not. Cheers!

Thanks for stopping by and for the read! As always, these are my creekside reflections and your experiences should vary, yaddah, yadah…

Writing & Seasons

Yesterday, I got nine unique pieces sent out in hopes of finding a home. I couldn’t find it in me to get out another one. This year has been one of the lowest “submitting” ones I’ve ever had. I know, there’s still a few months, but I’m okay with accepting different years meaning different things. This one was all about a novel I loved, but since the rewrite, I’m worried over it, and worry takes up time.

The steps leading to the backyard have never been “right” so the most recent project is correcting them. We found out the drainage pipe is damaged, so that snag has delayed progress, but there is a solution and if the weather holds, we might finish this weekend. (And if I remember, I’ll take pictures for the next post.)

The garden is a disaster – too much rain in the spring, ravenous slugs, and lack of time. I’ve been out there working with the baseball adage of “next year!” in my heart. Not every year of gardening will be bountiful. I did get some nice jalapeños and green beans. I think I’ll have a carrot and parsnip – unless something below the surface has nibbled them away.

I’m not Jewish – that I know of – but this post is sounding like I’m at a new year, doesn’t it? And I’m okay with that. In fact, I think it makes more sense to consider a year right now than at the end of December. I still won’t make a resolution, though. Promising to change isn’t the same as changing.

I do believe in goals and write them out, work toward them, cross them off. There is a list of ten 5-year goals on my fridge and I’ve reached some of them. In fact, seven out of ten is not bad with two years left. The ones not reached? All writing related. Ah well…I suppose I ought to work on the last three so off I go to edit, polish, rewrite and write anew.

Oh! And as a reminder: Saturday, 21 October 2017 at 1:00 there is an author reading. Please join me at the West Falls-Colden Library to hear Kim Chinquee, Barbara Early, Mary Jo Hodge, Gina Detwiler, Mary Akers, Deb Madar and Jeff Schober.

Thanks for stopping by and for the read!

(It finally bloomed!)

*These are all my creekside reflections. Your experience may vary.

No joke, I’m posting early.

I thought the flowers had bloomed, but they were just teasing.

Greetings and thank you for popping in. You picked a good time since I’ve got an amusing story.

Today was the start of Camp NaNo. I was upstairs working somewhat diligently on the new book when the passive-aggressive semi-smart phone told me there was an email. I opened it and it said the short list for the Gover Prize was listed. I hit the link and I was on there. As if…

I signed on to the computer and went to the site. It was true.

I did not see that coming. Talk about being humbled–by that and the amazingly kind words I’ve received from people on Facebook. I am so grateful.

Needless to say, I’m behind on my NaNo word count. C’est la vie. With any luck I’ll be able to make it up tomorrow at school. I’ll have time while I’m haunting the second floor teacher’s lounge when I’m not hanging out with Isabella. That’s the name of the kid I’m mentoring. Yes, I mentor now, and if that sounds strange to you, trust me, it sounds even weirder to me.

That’s why I can’t post tomorrow–I’m catching a ride with the Social Studies teacher. On Friday, I definitely don’t want to post because it’s my birthday. I’ll have that morning to catch up on my word count and get in an hour or so of Pilates. That’s the other thing that’s going on that is great: I hit a mini weight loss goal, which makes me want to hit the next one. Apparently, after listening to the same advice for years, it is sinking in–that it’s easier to get things accomplished if you break it down. I trusted that process implicitly for NaNo, but for other things, I balked. Now I see the physical results and I’m convinced.

And there you have it, my creekside reflections brought to you early and with happy news. May your days be just as wonderful.

Seriously, thank you for stopping by today and here is proof that I won’t be the only one waiting for you to drop in again…

It’s just a coincidence: new year/new blog post.

Can you believe it’s been 15 years since the Y2K scare?

Remember the excitement?

And then the let down when nothing happened.

*Sigh*

This year marks a personally significant one; I will soon be the same age as my mom when she died. If it’s genetics, I guess my death is nigh, and if not I will probably end up working on a few messy, emotional essays about this topic. Some of those thoughts and ideas may end up in future blog posts. You have been warned.

Yesterday, I spent time in my office’s loft finishing up the organization of the things that were allowed to remain. I’m donating/dumping so much “stuff” that I’ve been holding onto for no good reason. It was just time for it to go–not so much because of the time of the year as much as being ticked off that I couldn’t easily get to the box I needed.

The correspondence stays.

I came across letters and cards with notes–I wasn’t able to read them all, but each was touching. And this morning I received an email from someone whom I encouraged, which brightened my day–and the beginning of this new year. (Thank you Sidney Thompson!)

No resolutions, no new me, just the same goals I’ve always had: continue to read, to write and improve with each piece.

Sadly, with the amount of reading for r.kv.r.y. and Literary Orphans, my time for novel length books feels diminished. Instead of dwelling on that, I’ve added a book a week to my calendar–whether I get to reviewing them or not is a different topic. Once I get through Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist again, I might have that sort of courage and determination. She writes honestly about everything; that is the truest form of freedom and bravery.

There is snow on the ground and I followed a stray cat’s paw prints out to get the Buffalo News. I haven’t seen this cat, but I’ve known of its existence for months. Husband has another long weekend and I have a new story to work on. After a vivid dream that involved a lot of inappropriate kissing, I wrote down the details, and that somehow unlocked the plot to a long story/novella I wrote years ago that did not work. (It is from so long ago I may have to track down a 3.5 floppy disc reader.) Now, I see where several other bits fit together and I’m excited to see how well they will work together.

Anything to avoid writing messy essays and starting–in earnest–on the new novel.
So for now, I bid you adieu and send you wishes for a very good new year.

Thank you for stopping by!

(*These are my creekside reflections. Your experiences may vary.)

Happy 2013! I’m an Editor now!

I hope your 2013 is starting off to be a great year. Yesterday, I was promoted from a fiction reader to a Fiction Editor at r.kv.r.y. Quarterly Literary Journal. Thank you, Mary Akers! I went through the receipts for the year and gathered all the tax information I have so that dreadful bit which I usually wait until the last minute to do is over and I already have a contest entry and three submissions sent off. My year is starting off very well, and last year was not too shabby. I went to a writer’s conference in Westfield where I met James Goertel, Reg Darling, LouAnne Johnson, and Linda Lavid. I traveled to Binghamton and met Jefferson Rose and his family. My son and his family visited. I saw Chicago again. My garden shed was completed. I had ten pieces accepted (including one which will appear in Rosebud–one of my “dream” publications) and an agent queried me.

While I don’t make resolutions, per se, I’m not immune to the hype for personal betterment in the new year. I do hope that my writing (and editing) skills improve and that my work is accepted in awesome venues. Payment would be nice and finding an agent that believes in my work would be fantastic. I think I have these vague “goals” at all points during the year, but they seem most pronounced in January.

I know it works for some people, but declaring a new start at the beginning of the year has never worked for me. When I quit smoking (on Saturday, it will be the eighth anniversary) it was something I had tried before. I hadn’t been as serious about it until then. And don’t get me wrong, the drugs helped, too. Without Welbutrin, I don’t think I would have made it past the hump. But, I quit on the fifth, not the first. Now, writing challenges and prompts are different. So are deadlines. I have a better chance of meeting another person’s parameters than deciding which things to impose on myself for some reason.

I’m so grateful the holidays are over. Husband has been home too much for my taste. I thought that today I might be able to get back to normal, but no. On the ride over to Weber City, he got a call and he’ll be putting a bid in on a job in Depew this afternoon, and since there will be no time for him to get back to the Buffalo Zoo and get tools out, he’ll be home early again. Yesterday, he was home early because he was all ‘manly’ and had three cavities filled during one dentist visit which numbed his tongue completely. *Sigh* Men…

Cats though, they are sweet and look lovely in ribbons. Since mine is a diva, here are two photos where I tried to capture her New Year’s Eve ‘costume.’

This month there will be an additional posting as I’ve been tagged to participate in the “Next Big Thing.”

Thanks for checking in!

(*These are just my Creekside Reflections. Your experience may vary.)